Girlfriend for 3 1/2 months, dating for 5 months. Both 17
I have specific advice questions at the bottom vv.
Info: Shes very insecure in general and has had 1 rather bad experience with sex before.
Our relationship has been absolutely amazing and we were both very happy throughout, no fighting ever, and just awesome times. We had done everything besides for sex since about 1 1/2 months in.
The other night she came over and my house was empty, I had the pre-conceived idea in my head that I wanted to see if we could progress to sex that night. By the way, I swear to my life I’m not using her for sex I love this girl, I just feel like it would make our bond even stronger, but if she doesn’t want to it’d be fine with me.
Anyways, we start kissing and she keeps pulling away and teasing me, acting not interested etc… Which she always does and I usually never mind cause it is sorta more fun of a challenge but with this idea in my head i let it bother me and I said some things I wish i didn’t.
After she pulled away from me again and laughed, I said «okay fine» and started giving her the cold shoulder for 5-10mins, I thought i was just gonna play around with her but then she asked «anything wrong». And I told her I felt she wasnt physically attracted towards me anymore (which i know isn’t true but i still said it) and i feel like thats important in a relationship. Blah blah blah we started talking about sex, and I asked her if she would with me, she said not yet and is that why you invited me over tonight? I said I invited you over to spend time with you, and if it happens so be it.
I think what bothered her was the cold shoulder treatment, and I’m not going to lie I DO FEEL like throughout the sex conversation I was sounding to «Expecting» which I know is wrong.
SO we kissed and cuddled a bit more and all was good…then after a kiss i said «i think i love you to her» she responded with «no you don’t» while smiling, and I said «yea I do, how do you feel about it?» and she said «you know i feel the same way, i like you alot» while smiling and kissing me. and i said «i dunno I just care so much for you that its not fair to say i just like you anymore, you dont need to feel the same back i totally get it » kissed her. She said «its not that i dont feel the same way back» etc etc. After I said that for the next 30mins before she had to go she was constantly smiling and kissing me, but she never said it back.
You guys might be saying, not so bad right? But just keep this in mind I totally admit that during the sex convo i was coming off as A DOUCHE.
Then.. last night came around and i knew something was wrong as she didn’t text me the day before or all day, so I texted her and she invited herself over essentially, (I said i just wanted a phone call but she came over).
When she first came over she didn’t even want to TOUCH ME, we went on a walk, I literally poured my heart out to her, cause i do truly love this girl, about how much I care about her and how sex doesn’t even matter all i want is her in my life. Then finally at the end of the night, when i was literally teary eyed (and I’m no small pussy either I’m a big lacrosse player) She put her hands on me and started opening up about how she felt.
She just wishes I went about asking for sex in a better way as opposed to being a dick, and she said that any sliver of sex that she thought about having with me was out the window. And I get that. She also said something that hurt me to the core.
She said she almost felt was if she could walk away right now and almost be okay with it, but she said that she likes me too much.
Anyways, by the end of the night i was able to get her to laugh again and smile and show her how much i truly care about her, we ended the night with her saying sweet things to me, kissing a few times, having a very long hug and her leaving.
She said she would text me when shes ready to hangout again.
Honestly everyone, I know I’m only 17, and I know it wont last forever, but I’m not ready to let this one get away from me because she truly is something special.
How hurt is the relationship?
Where do I go from here everyone?
How do I show her that she means the world to me and get her to want to love me again like I think she was close too.
Just any advice, like what should I do next time I see her? Kiss her like nothings happened like usual? I’m so confused
Please,
Open Question: Pressured Girlfriend to Have Sex. Need Advice Plz :(?
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